In 2009 my lifelong dream of becoming a mom came true... with some surprises!
My sweet son arrived, and a short sixteen months later my beautiful daughter arrived. Since I was little I envisioned the type of mom I'd be and what it would be like to "play house" with my husband. What I didn't know was that motherhood would be the most personally transformative experience of a lifetime (in the BEST way possible).
During the first couple years, I felt a sense of emptiness and disconnection inside.
Our lives were pretty idyllic and I knew I was being "a really great mom." But something was off. I was determined to figure it out and become the mom I always dreamed I’d be.
As I got curious, I was confronted with parts of myself that were difficult to look at. 'The perfectionist' who wanted everything to be clean and tidy, causing me to patrol my kids’ every move. 'The control freak’ who wanted my plans to go just as expected or else I’d feel like a failure. 'The busy bee’ who buzzed around doing, doing, doing for everyone else, never slowing down to just BE.
With good intentions, I was actually creating THIS in my kids...
Fear of mom’s reactions. Shame for “doing it wrong.” Suppression of their fullest expression, and a fracture in our ability to authentically love and connect with each other. Yikes!
When my son was 5, I stumbled upon Dr. Shefali’s work and had one aha moment after another.
"Be the parent you need to be for your children, not the parent you think you should be." — Dr. Shefali
Mic drop. My whole plan of being the ‘perfect mom’ shattered, but at the same time, I never felt so sure of this new path forward. My hands trembled as I realized I had to pick up every broken piece and…
- Examine it
- Understand what was at the root
- Heal my inner wounds
- Transform the way I respond
- Learn to hold space for my kids
- Create a new household dynamic and upbringing for my kids.
All of the learning, reflecting, practicing, failing and growing has led to the BIGGEST blessings of our lives.
I watched my relationship with my kids and myself transform. My kids are now pre-teens and we have healthy communication, mutual respect and peace... PEACE! Our transformed home environment has allowed my children to cultivate confidence in themselves and healthy boundaries with others that are invaluable to their ability to thrive.
You see, children give us the beautiful gift of healing and finding our true selves again.
By embodying our own truth and authenticity, we naturally teach our children to do the same. (It’s literally MAGIC, can you believe we aren’t taught this?!)
Welp, that’s why I became a Conscious Parent Coach through Dr. Shefali’s program. These skills, practices and teachings are the NEW path of parenting, and I believe every mom should have access to them. I’m on a mission to help raise mothers so they can heal and transform the connection with themselves and their children by becoming the mother they dream of AND the mother their children need.
So mamas… Are you ready for a journey of a lifetime?
xx Ashley Kahn
& Conscious Parent Coach